One of the most stupid things I've heard this week, Justin Bieber is being sued for supposedly giving a woman hearing loss.
And no, it's not because his music was so terrible that her hearing went poof.
In fact, it's not even because his music was too loud.
No, it was because his fans screamed too loud. His fans.
Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?
So the story is, Stacey Wilson Betts took her daughter to a Justin Bieber concert in Portland and found the crowd so loud that her hearing is now damaged. She saw fit to lay a lawsuit on Bieber for this since he caused the crowd to give off 'a wave like effect of screaming by pointing into various sections of the arena' and 'enticed the crowd into a frenzy of screams by continuously waving his arms in a quick and upward motion.' He also supposedly rode into the crowd on a 'heart-shaped aluminum/steel gondola,' which apparently served as a sound conductor to boost the sound.
Now I have no love for Justin Bieber, but this is one of the stupidest things I've heard in a long time. I am not sure if this woman has been to a concert before in her life. I certainly hope not, because then at least it might explain why she so foolishly thinks that actions such as pointing at the crowd and giving arm boosts are something to sue over.
Newsflash. Almost all performers do it. Hell, most of them yell 'Make some noise' or 'Let's hear you (name of city)'. And then, upon hearing the noise, declare it not loud enough and encourage louder.
This is standard concert behaviour. Everyone should know and expect that, especially when it comes to an act as huge as Bieber. It's only natural that it's going to be loud as fuck in there, so most good attendees would/should have brought hearing protection. And if you don't, you've only got yourself to blame. Did she think she was going to a movie theater where everyone sits quietly and watches? It's not like Bieber came and forced her to come to his concert, or like he stood and screamed in her ear for the duration of the concert. He just did what an entertainer is supposed to do. This honestly just reeks of money-grabbing, or perhaps that darker version of Bieber fever that instead of turning people into squealing fangirls brings forth their rage monsters made free of common sense :T Probably money-grabbing though. Did I mention that this lawsuit is for $9 million?
And that poor daughter!! She was doubtlessly one of those screaming fans, and now her mother is suing a singer she undoubtedly looks up to because said mother was too stupid to understand how concerts work. She's probably never going to go to another concert with her mum for the rest of her life. And never going to live it down with her fellow Bieber-bopping friends.
Anyway, I'm adding this to my list of stupid lawsuits, which also features such things as somebody suing a microwave company because their cat died after being microwaved, and somebody suing McDonalds because their coffee was too hot and burnt them.
Saturday, 14 July 2012
Thursday, 14 June 2012
Snow White and the Huntsman
Spoilers follow
So I went to watch this...and it exceeded my expectations in some areas, met them in others, and fell far short in even more. I wanted to like this movie, really I did. It seemed like a promising take, truer to the original Brothers Grimm version than any mainstream versions yet. However, I really think it fell far short of its potential.
Now, I expected Kristen Stewart to have the acting ability and charisma of a dead log. She didn't disappoint there. Honestly, she went through pretty much the entire movie with the same somewhat-baffled expression on her face. Her expression was the same locked in the tower (which was entertaining, when the narrator told us she was kept locked in a tower my little brother huffed and rolled his eyes and muttered 'just like all the princesses'), breaking out of the tower, fleeing the burning village, holding Gus as he died, discovering the fairy forest, waking up from the dead, leading the army to the queen, killing the queen, and being coronated. THOSE ARE NOT THE SAME EMOTIONS YOU SHOULD BE FEELING WOMAN, MAKE SOME DIFFERENT FACES AMG. The few times she did actually manage to crack a facial expression, it was such a pathetic excuse for one that it made me cringe. It was like somebody told her 'look overjoyed' and she was like 'oh overjoyed? then i smile right? kind of like this? *gives pathetic awkward half smile*'. Painful. The only thing she managed to do was constantly look teary, and that is probably because of eye drops..and the rest of her face didn't even look sad. Her eyebrows barely moved throughout the whole movie! I could never even call her 'Snow', she just wouldn't get into character...so the whole movie to me she was just Kristen...
Charlize Theron did a better job as Ravenna. I honestly connected better and felt way more empathy with this character than I did with the main character (which should never happen, you should at least connect some but y'know) Maybe she should have just played both roles, it would have made the movie far more enjoyable :T The character itself had a lot more potential than it was written through, as they focussed more on her random mood swings than was purely necessary and didn't flesh out the intriguing hints at backstory nearly as much as they should have. And because of their terrible writing for her, even though I did connect with Ravenna, it wasn't to the point where I was upset when she died. In fact, I wouldn't really have been upset with anyone's death...
Hemsworth did well as the Huntsman too, although I really wish he got a name other than 'the Huntsman' because that's a mouthful, even when you're only saying it in your head. Another character whose history I would have loved to see more of, because what they tell you about his wife is not nearly enough.
Did I see any sort of chemistry between Kristen and Huntsman? No. The moviemakers tried, certainly, using their fancy camera angles, lighting effects, music what have you, but they came off as awkward to me. Probably because when they weren't trying to edit romance at you, then there seemed to be very little between them.
Prince William.... was a fluke :T Everything about him pretty much screamed 'cheap character thrown in to be huntsman's competitor for stewart's love' The movie could have functioned just as well without this guy. I don't even remember who played him or what he looked like, because really he was such an obvious filler character :T The dwarves...start out one way (they're introduced as slightly badass, threatening characters) and dissolve into mostly comic relief. Not that it's a bad thing, because comic relief dwarves were more enjoyable by that point than badass dwarves would have been. They were played well and were definitely one of the best parts of the movie.
As for the plot.. god I think the writers were on crack or something ;__; Some parts of it were so wonderfully thought out, and refreshing and different from what you'd expect. I really enjoyed that. Especially in the beginning, when Snow was still a young child. And then as it progressed the sequences were like regurgitated run of the mill predictable bullshit or rushing through scenes with little breaths of fresh air coming so sparsely that I felt like I was going to die. They threw in a hundred and thirty pointless things, started substories that they don't finish, and slapped in so many random scenes that sometimes I felt like I was watching a hodgepodge remake of all of the fantasy adventures made in the last century!! Most notably, Princess Mononoke, LoTR, Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland, and Ella Enchanted (Which barely even counts as a fantasy adventure. And also has far more in common with Mirror Mirror than this). They should really have taken half of that shit out and spent that time fleshing out the remaining stories a bit more. Such as Ravenna's backstory or the women in the village. It's painfully obvious that they were trying too hard. Really. And that they want to make a sequel.
And then there was the troll!! THE FUCKING TROLL!! what the fuck was that??? Homicidal troll, going on a rage, about to kill the Huntsman and then Kristen runs out and...screams at it. Fucking screams at it! What is that? And then they have a staredown, and instead of smiting her friggen head off like a good troll, it backs off and leaves....because...she... screamed at it. And stared. What. The. Fuck. Was she like...too pretty for the troll to kill or something? Oh I know. She was the daughter of the good king and the troll was all like 'no I can't kill her she's too precious' . No. Fuck no. Remember when Twilights 'vampires' turned out to be sparkly moving statues? Yeah, this was like that. Friggen sad excuse for a troll. You're all geared up for finally A DECENT FIGHT, AMG... and then it ends like...that. Fuck. It's like Stewart looks for movies that take awesome dark/fantasy creatures and make a mockery out of them. I think she is also burdened with the curse of Sueness. Because really, escaping to find a random horse randomly waiting for her all chill and fuck on the friggen rocks by the sea? Yup. Because she's just so fucking speshul that random wild horses go sit on rocks by the sea and wait for her. Pure white horses that are probably supposed to represent innocence that then drowns in mud or something. yeah it was probably the fairies who are like burds or possess their bodies or some freaky shit that love her and make sure she has speshul white horses for her escape because she saved one once long ago, but whatever. It was still really stupid
Speaking of decent fights...this movie is remarkably lacking. Yes, it has a lot of fights, violence, but...they're all lacklustre at best and downright forgettable at worst. Almost all the fight sequences are reminiscent of either Alice in Wonderland or, more often, LoTR...except poorly executed, not well managed, or over way too soon.
The other thing, and god but it rubbed me the wrong way for no reason at all...Kristen got through the whole friggen movie with only one hint from the Huntsman as her training. They sent her into friggen war without training her a bit? The fuck? She's your oh-so-precious princess, don't you think you're playing a bit fast and loose here? But of course, she's fine because she's just naturally good enough to hold her own until she can use said little hint. Maybe she just screamed at everything.
Either way, the emphasis on this film was definitely on the visuals. And that was one thing they did do astoundingly. It was one visual wonder after another, spaced apart by visually appealing scenery. On a purely visual level, the film was utterly enjoyable.
Would I pay to see it again? No. Would I buy it on DVD? Probably not. Do I regret going to see it? Kind of. I would rather have rented a DVD to watch it. At least that way I wouldn't have to shush my little brother from making comments that were more entertaining than the movie itself
...Okay, I realize I make this movie seem terrible XD For the record, it's not. It's....fairly enjoyable as long as you don't expect too much out of it, and leave most of your brain at home because you really won't need the whole thing. Just is just a bit of a rant about the stupid parts of the script writing, of which their were many. There were some good parts too! Don't get me wrong. I'd probably give the thing a 3/5 when I'm feeling generous. And a 2.5/5 when I'm not
So I went to watch this...and it exceeded my expectations in some areas, met them in others, and fell far short in even more. I wanted to like this movie, really I did. It seemed like a promising take, truer to the original Brothers Grimm version than any mainstream versions yet. However, I really think it fell far short of its potential.
Now, I expected Kristen Stewart to have the acting ability and charisma of a dead log. She didn't disappoint there. Honestly, she went through pretty much the entire movie with the same somewhat-baffled expression on her face. Her expression was the same locked in the tower (which was entertaining, when the narrator told us she was kept locked in a tower my little brother huffed and rolled his eyes and muttered 'just like all the princesses'), breaking out of the tower, fleeing the burning village, holding Gus as he died, discovering the fairy forest, waking up from the dead, leading the army to the queen, killing the queen, and being coronated. THOSE ARE NOT THE SAME EMOTIONS YOU SHOULD BE FEELING WOMAN, MAKE SOME DIFFERENT FACES AMG. The few times she did actually manage to crack a facial expression, it was such a pathetic excuse for one that it made me cringe. It was like somebody told her 'look overjoyed' and she was like 'oh overjoyed? then i smile right? kind of like this? *gives pathetic awkward half smile*'. Painful. The only thing she managed to do was constantly look teary, and that is probably because of eye drops..and the rest of her face didn't even look sad. Her eyebrows barely moved throughout the whole movie! I could never even call her 'Snow', she just wouldn't get into character...so the whole movie to me she was just Kristen...
Charlize Theron did a better job as Ravenna. I honestly connected better and felt way more empathy with this character than I did with the main character (which should never happen, you should at least connect some but y'know) Maybe she should have just played both roles, it would have made the movie far more enjoyable :T The character itself had a lot more potential than it was written through, as they focussed more on her random mood swings than was purely necessary and didn't flesh out the intriguing hints at backstory nearly as much as they should have. And because of their terrible writing for her, even though I did connect with Ravenna, it wasn't to the point where I was upset when she died. In fact, I wouldn't really have been upset with anyone's death...
Hemsworth did well as the Huntsman too, although I really wish he got a name other than 'the Huntsman' because that's a mouthful, even when you're only saying it in your head. Another character whose history I would have loved to see more of, because what they tell you about his wife is not nearly enough.
Did I see any sort of chemistry between Kristen and Huntsman? No. The moviemakers tried, certainly, using their fancy camera angles, lighting effects, music what have you, but they came off as awkward to me. Probably because when they weren't trying to edit romance at you, then there seemed to be very little between them.
Prince William.... was a fluke :T Everything about him pretty much screamed 'cheap character thrown in to be huntsman's competitor for stewart's love' The movie could have functioned just as well without this guy. I don't even remember who played him or what he looked like, because really he was such an obvious filler character :T The dwarves...start out one way (they're introduced as slightly badass, threatening characters) and dissolve into mostly comic relief. Not that it's a bad thing, because comic relief dwarves were more enjoyable by that point than badass dwarves would have been. They were played well and were definitely one of the best parts of the movie.
As for the plot.. god I think the writers were on crack or something ;__; Some parts of it were so wonderfully thought out, and refreshing and different from what you'd expect. I really enjoyed that. Especially in the beginning, when Snow was still a young child. And then as it progressed the sequences were like regurgitated run of the mill predictable bullshit or rushing through scenes with little breaths of fresh air coming so sparsely that I felt like I was going to die. They threw in a hundred and thirty pointless things, started substories that they don't finish, and slapped in so many random scenes that sometimes I felt like I was watching a hodgepodge remake of all of the fantasy adventures made in the last century!! Most notably, Princess Mononoke, LoTR, Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland, and Ella Enchanted (Which barely even counts as a fantasy adventure. And also has far more in common with Mirror Mirror than this). They should really have taken half of that shit out and spent that time fleshing out the remaining stories a bit more. Such as Ravenna's backstory or the women in the village. It's painfully obvious that they were trying too hard. Really. And that they want to make a sequel.
And then there was the troll!! THE FUCKING TROLL!! what the fuck was that??? Homicidal troll, going on a rage, about to kill the Huntsman and then Kristen runs out and...screams at it. Fucking screams at it! What is that? And then they have a staredown, and instead of smiting her friggen head off like a good troll, it backs off and leaves....because...she... screamed at it. And stared. What. The. Fuck. Was she like...too pretty for the troll to kill or something? Oh I know. She was the daughter of the good king and the troll was all like 'no I can't kill her she's too precious' . No. Fuck no. Remember when Twilights 'vampires' turned out to be sparkly moving statues? Yeah, this was like that. Friggen sad excuse for a troll. You're all geared up for finally A DECENT FIGHT, AMG... and then it ends like...that. Fuck. It's like Stewart looks for movies that take awesome dark/fantasy creatures and make a mockery out of them. I think she is also burdened with the curse of Sueness. Because really, escaping to find a random horse randomly waiting for her all chill and fuck on the friggen rocks by the sea? Yup. Because she's just so fucking speshul that random wild horses go sit on rocks by the sea and wait for her. Pure white horses that are probably supposed to represent innocence that then drowns in mud or something. yeah it was probably the fairies who are like burds or possess their bodies or some freaky shit that love her and make sure she has speshul white horses for her escape because she saved one once long ago, but whatever. It was still really stupid
Speaking of decent fights...this movie is remarkably lacking. Yes, it has a lot of fights, violence, but...they're all lacklustre at best and downright forgettable at worst. Almost all the fight sequences are reminiscent of either Alice in Wonderland or, more often, LoTR...except poorly executed, not well managed, or over way too soon.
The other thing, and god but it rubbed me the wrong way for no reason at all...Kristen got through the whole friggen movie with only one hint from the Huntsman as her training. They sent her into friggen war without training her a bit? The fuck? She's your oh-so-precious princess, don't you think you're playing a bit fast and loose here? But of course, she's fine because she's just naturally good enough to hold her own until she can use said little hint. Maybe she just screamed at everything.
Either way, the emphasis on this film was definitely on the visuals. And that was one thing they did do astoundingly. It was one visual wonder after another, spaced apart by visually appealing scenery. On a purely visual level, the film was utterly enjoyable.
Would I pay to see it again? No. Would I buy it on DVD? Probably not. Do I regret going to see it? Kind of. I would rather have rented a DVD to watch it. At least that way I wouldn't have to shush my little brother from making comments that were more entertaining than the movie itself
...Okay, I realize I make this movie seem terrible XD For the record, it's not. It's....fairly enjoyable as long as you don't expect too much out of it, and leave most of your brain at home because you really won't need the whole thing. Just is just a bit of a rant about the stupid parts of the script writing, of which their were many. There were some good parts too! Don't get me wrong. I'd probably give the thing a 3/5 when I'm feeling generous. And a 2.5/5 when I'm not
Sunday, 10 June 2012
New Blog
I decided to start a new blog for things that are too long for Twitter, too personal for deviantArt, and too textual for Tumblr. Enter blogspot. Welcome to my new blog, wherein I will whine about life, review movies, share funny tales, comment on goings on, post incredibly infrequently, and sprinkle sugar on lemons.
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